“Wait … I'm not ready for you to let go of me yet!!!” “I think that's his dick I’m feeling against my knee right now.”Īre you f*cking serious?! Trade places with me right this instant! 16. “How does he smell sooo good!"Ĭheck! Check! OMG, check!!! 15. Sneak in a butt grab for me - for all of us! 14. We dodged that bullet together, my friend. Let's not rule that last part out just yet, but YAY! 11. "It's really him! And Nate doesn't look like a complete psycho, either!" You is kind you is smart you is important! In other words, you were born ready.Īnd, remember, when in doubt, channel your inner Mindy Lahiri and order another drink. Just keep the nightmares coming, why don't you? 8. Stop it right now! Nate is a total T-O-P, okay?! 7. "OMG, but what if he's a bottom?!"Īre you kidding me? No. He better be, damnit! Like, why the hell would he name himself "N8-inches" if he didn't put that thing to use.
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It's a reasonable concern, but if he’s willing to meet you in public, chances are he is the same 6’3", Italian, "Orphan Black"-loving nerd you conversed with online (in which case, I hate you even more). "What if he doesn't match his profile picture?"Ĭonsidering he invited you out for drinks and not someplace shady-looking, I’m guessing his face matches his profile. “So glad I didn't give him my real address." "Should I call an Uber or something?"īetter question: Will your Uber arrive in time to save you from this sexy potential psychopath? 3. And, it's happening in like half an hour, so get some pants on. Well, believe it because it's totally happening. "I can't believe this is (finally) happening!"
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To prove it, here are 25 thoughts you'll have racing through your mind going into your own: 1. Point is, no matter how many hits you've gotten on Manhunt or Jack'd, first dates are intimidating for both guys involved. It's a big deal, and you probably have a ton of questions racing through your mind right now.įrom the obvious, "Will he like me?" or "What if he stands me up?" to the more important and practical ones like, "Underwear or nah?" and "Who's paying?" Seriously, though, if you've been freaking out ever since you accepted that Grindr date with "N8-inches" (#jealousofyou), I totally understand. That is, unless you can count a Skylar Grey concert and a semi-romantic drive to Arby's (he paid for my fries!) as a date.Įither way, that night played out like a scene out of "Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist." In which case, my first date was better than yours. I say this because he and I never agreed it was a date to begin with.Īlso, there was no "Sixteen Candles"-inspired ending with dimmed lights, cake, intimacy and more cake. So here's the thing: I don't think I've ever been on an official date with another guy before.